{"id":162,"date":"2024-09-20T21:59:03","date_gmt":"2024-09-20T21:59:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/silviaescobar.com\/?p=162"},"modified":"2025-03-08T22:49:25","modified_gmt":"2025-03-08T22:49:25","slug":"solving-family-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/silviaescobar.com\/es\/solving-family-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"Solving Family Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was in the kitchen, waiting for Arturo to get home. I was tired, I was frustrated and I was a little short with the kids, which also made me feel guilty. While I’m thinking of a specific moment in time when my kids were all younger, this could be a snapshot of many moments in time as we were raising our kids and I was home with them. The one I’m thinking of here is when four of our six kids were below the age of 10. Being home all day with your kids has it’s challenges. I was feeling the weight of all the responsibility, all the little arguments, all the mess, the constant loudness in the air, making dinner, doing laundry and on and on…you get the picture. I wanted to always enjoy my time with my family. I wanted to have the energy and wisdom to handle their fights. I wanted to feed them healthy dinners. But I was tired… Whether you are experiencing challenges in your immediate family or in your extended family, knowing how to solve family problems is important. I’d like to go a little more in depth with this one, so in the next few weeks I will share some points that have been helpful. Here is the first point.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

WE MUST RECOGNIZE THAT THERE WILL BE DIFFICULT TIMES<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This may seem obvious, but if we believe that, why do we spend so much time ignoring or pretending a problem doesn’t exist? Part of the reason I was having such a hard time that day is that I had ignored the signs of fatigue. I wanted to believe that I could handle anything. That I had unlimited energy. That I could be the sacrificial mom that did not require anything. Here are 3 things to remember about difficult times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. Having an unsolved problem creates tension.<\/strong>\u00a0Because I was not facing the problem of fatigue, I had a shorter temper with my kids. I had guilt because I was not responding to them in the way I would like. And I was short tempered with Arturo, too! I would take it personally if he got home later than usual or if he didn’t’ help as soon as he walked in the door. As I heard someone once say, “Pay attention to the tension.” Where is it coming from? Why are you experiencing it? Find the source.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Tension is a sign that we need to do something different.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0You have heard it said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. And yet, it is difficult to create new habits. To respond differently to a situation. We gravitate toward the familiar. How our parents raised us. How we’ve always reacted. If we are experiencing family problems and we are feeling the tension, it’s time to consider a different way of handling.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. The solution most likely lies in collaborating and solving the problem together.<\/strong>\u00a0More on this next week. For now, I’d like to share that it is important to know that none of us are an island. We may not like how our partner or child problem solves, but the solution lies in collaboration.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Next week I will share some ideas on how and who to ask for help, and how to discuss the problem in a way that is reseptive by all. Until then, just remember. everyone goes through difficult times.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I was in the kitchen, waiting for Arturo to get home. I was tired, I was frustrated and I was a little short with the kids, which also made me feel guilty. 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