When I was growing up, my parents owned a store, and we lived behind it and later above it. There was always work to do, and I loved it. Whether I was pricing merchandise, stocking shelves, working the register, or helping in the butcher section, I’d much rather work in the store than cook or clean.
My mom would ask, “Would you rather help me with dinner or work in the store?” or “Would you rather clean the house or work in the store?” To me, those questions seemed silly. Of course I chose the store!
As a result, I didn’t learn to cook or keep a house very well. Forty years into marriage, I still wouldn’t call myself a great housekeeper or decorator, but I did eventually learn to cook.
When we raised our six kids, one of my biggest goals was to send them into adulthood with life skills. Since I was learning many of them myself, it wasn’t always easy. Here are a few things that helped.
Train by example. Our kids learn more from what we do than what we say. We don’t have to be perfect, but we should be honest about our shortcomings. Saying, “Let’s learn this together,” goes a long way.
Inspect what you expect. I taped checklists inside cabinets that said, “The bathroom is clean when…” or “The kitchen is clean when…” The goal wasn’t how they cleaned, it was making sure the job was truly finished.
Give them creative freedom. Once my son Miguel learned the basics of cooking, he preferred creating his own meals instead of following recipes. Watching him smell spices and experiment was fun, and he came up with some great dinners.
Trust them. When we constantly do things for our kids because it’s easier or because we want it done our way, we unintentionally tell them we don’t believe they can handle it. Trust builds confidence, responsibility, and a sense of significance.
We’re still learning, and we’ve certainly made mistakes along the way. But those lessons have been just as valuable as our successes.
If you’d like my list of life skills every child should learn, and what we did (or wish we’d done) to teach them: text “life skills” with your email address to 847-637-3073, and I’d be happy to send it to you.