Last week I wrote about the baggage we bring into our relationships. The first step I mentioned that is necessary for getting rid of or managing our baggage is identifying it. The next step for today is recognizing the part it plays in the way we see things and our reactions.
Have you ever overreacted to a situation and you knew it? That used to happen to me all the time. I felt like a ticking time bomb! Anything could set me off. I didn’t feel like I had any control of it. Arturo and I started going to marriage classes and talking about our baggage. I realized I had a lot of unresolved issues that were bottled up inside. Although I thought I had them under control, just like a leaky pipe you put tape over, my anger would leak through the sides at the people I loved. I needed to resolve some of that trauma from the past in order to change the way it affected my present. In my case, as a person of faith, that meant praying, evaluating, learning and forgiving. As time passed, as the healing took place, my anger subsided and my reactions were different.
Recognizing the part our baggage plays in the way we see things and how we react to our circumstances is a big part of becoming better at our responses. Better at our responses means more control over our emotions. More control over our emotions means different outcomes. Next week I’ll share one of the biggest mistakes that almost cost me my marriage. For now, have you thought about the role your baggage plays in the way you see things and the way you react?