In raising our six children, we learned many things. Sometimes we learned just in time to put them into practice and sometimes as a result of making mistakes. Among them, there are three things that we were very intentional about implementing.
1. Mutual Respect: There is a belief that is often used as an excuse for not respecting, and that is, “Respect is earned.” I think what they mean by that phrase is that the relationship is earned. And I agree with that. There are times when it is not healthy to maintain a relationship with someone who continually hurts us. But in the case of respect, respect is not earned, it is given. Respect does not depend on age, gender, education, etc. Respecting a person has to do with the person respecting, rather than the person being respected. In our house, we made an effort to respect every member of the family, regardless of their age, gender, or education. It was, and still is, a high value.
2. Responsibilities for each person: When our children were little, I changed the kitchen around to have plates and glasses in the bottom cabinets. Thus, when it was time for dinner, the little ones could help prepare the table. They could also take the dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away. Each child had their own job, and they all washed their own clothes from the time they could reach into the washing machine. Responsibility at home gives a sense of belonging. Being part of the family. Only guests are exempt from responsibilities, so if our children don’t have jobs or responsibilities at home, they may subconsciously conclude that they don’t belong.
3. Everyone’s opinions are valued and listened to: It takes a lot of patience to listen to young children. They are searching for words, they always have something to say, they say what comes to mind, etc. This is the time when we as parents, have the opportunity to teach our children how important what they have to say is. Not because they are saying incredible things, but because they have the right to express themselves and we want them to practice with us to learn to express themselves well.
Today I still enjoy talking to my children and hearing what they are thinking. I am grateful for how responsible they are with their work and their homes and we respect each other. Of course we have made many mistakes as parents, but these three areas have been a good experience for us.