One of the most valuable skills we can develop as adults isn’t just giving advice—it’s learning when to take it and when to leave it behind.
We live in a world full of opinions. From social media to family gatherings, it seems everyone has something to say about how you should live, parent, spend, or build your career. And while many people mean well, not all advice is helpful—or even healthy—for your season of life.
Taking advice requires discernment. Before you receive someone’s input, pause and ask: Does this person live by the values I admire? Have they achieved the results I’m aiming for? Do they have context for my situation? Wisdom doesn’t just come from age; it comes from alignment—someone whose words match the life they’re living.
For example, if you’re growing a business, advice from someone who has never taken a risk or managed a team may not serve you well. Similarly, if you’re working on your marriage or raising teenagers, guidance from someone who hasn’t walked through that stage with humility and grace might sound nice, but it may not fit your reality.
That said, sometimes advice we don’t want to hear is the advice we need most. Growth requires humility. When feedback comes from someone who loves you, who has earned your trust, and who sees a blind spot you can’t, it’s worth listening—especially if their words challenge you rather than flatter you.
So how do we strike the balance?
1. Listen with curiosity, not defensiveness. You can’t learn from what you instantly reject.
2. Filter everything through your values. If it doesn’t align with your purpose or principles, let it go.
3. Seek advisors, not audiences. The right people won’t just tell you what you want to hear—they’ll tell you what will make you better.
As a family coach, one of my go to statements is, “I can be wrong. At the end of the day, I will share my thoughts and I will go home to my life. But you will have to live with whatever decisions you make, so make sure they are aligned with your values and with your own goals.” Advice is only useful if it leads you closer to becoming the person you want to become.